Contrary to popular belief, friendship is not a state of mind.

It's an act----something you "do".

Lots of people are lovers but aren't friends.  Lots of people are relatives and aren't friends.  Lots of people initiate "friendship" for financial gain only (to expand their own agenda, or find a way to separate you from your finances, steal your identity, etc.). 

And with this comes a tough lesson that can be devastating (I know...been there myself) because..... we can only learn this by experience.  Schools don't teach it, television doesn't teach it, and .....if you're above a certain age---our parents didn't teach it.

You have to learn it by thinking of someone as a friend, only to find out that they don't think of YOU as a friend.  And, we learn that all the wishing, manipulation or determination to "cement" that friendship just serves to push the would-be friend further away. 


Because friendship is something we CHOOSE to do; no one should be forced (or feel obligated) to maintain a friendship.

Friendship is not about whether you're "good" or not; it's not a reflection of you.  It's a balanced act between two people. That doesn't mean it's always balanced at every moment.  Sometimes you need a friend, and sometimes a friend needs you. 

Negative people have friends.  Positive people have friends.  Sometimes the friendships are intertwined.

All because friendship is based on a trust that is returned.

Our own two eyes can teach us a quick lesson about friendship. 

Ready?  Here we go.........

The Eyes
They blink together.
They move together.
They cry together.
They see things together.
And... they sleep together.

And they've never seen each other.

....that's what friendship is.

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Comment by Catherine Cronin on April 2, 2012 at 5:28pm

Jack...My best friend I have had for 39 hubby... We've been through thick and thin and still together too:)

Comment by Jack Pattison on April 2, 2012 at 4:59pm

I think friends should be forever. At least my parents were that way with their friends. No one should discard friends like old clothes but nurture them like one's own body. I never had many friends while growing up. I do have a real friend now that I had for 36 years - my wife.

Comment by Dolle on March 27, 2012 at 3:45pm

@EA & Catherine...Thanks for making my point even clearer; It seems that most of us have experienced the sadness (the way we feel at the time) of giving up what we THOUGHT was friendship---- in order to gain the power of understanding the true meaning of friendship.  Thanks to both of you for sharing!

Comment by Catherine Cronin on March 26, 2012 at 4:39pm

EA....I had a similar "friendship" once too. I went through most of my grown up life wondering what I ever did to my "friend". I eventually learned to let go and move on. Once I found the internet, I decided to let everyone know what I was like and who I really am. I told everyone online that I was "Mad Cath" from Ireland and I am who I am, and if you don't like ME....tough!   I now have more online friends than I ever had in real life and I am quite happy with that. What you see with me, is what you get...LOL!

If you all ever get to meet me, you might change your minds really fast.....but that's ok too..:) Orkut Scraps
Comment by Madea ~EarthAngel~ on March 26, 2012 at 3:10am

Dolle, this really hits close to home with me! When I was in Jr. High School, I had a best friend and we did everything together and your Eye Poem reminded me of how close we were. We ate together, spent nights at each others homes, went to school together... we did everything together and she was like a sister to me! Then one day out of the blue, she decided that she would not be my friend any more and I remember she started hanging out with another one of our class mates and what was so crazy is that she even stopped speaking to me. Needless to say how hurt I was and I don't know if the other person turned her against me or what but it was so strange because we were so close and it was the kind of friendship that we should have grown up together and even raised our children together but low and behold, that was not the case and I don't think she ever knew how bad I was hurt. Evidently, it was a one sided friendship on my part and she didn't feel the same way about me, so go figure.

That one incident caused me not to trust anyone and I had that frame of mind for a lot of years and I kept my distance from many potential friends.  Life must go on and I did move on but I often wondered what abruptly turned her against me or away from me. Since then, I have gained so many friends in my life and it made up for all of the heartache and pain that my so-called friend caused me. But God is faithful and He will be my friend when nobody else will! We need to be mindful and careful about how we treat people and treat others the way that we want to be treated. Thanks for posting this, it reminds me of just how fragile our hearts are and just how much we need one another! Love, ~Madea

Comment by Dolle on March 25, 2012 at 8:49am

@James McDonald - appreciate your comment; would love to see it as a bumper sticker, or better yet--a highway sign!  Thank you!

Comment by Dolle on March 25, 2012 at 8:48am

@ Brother J - appreciate your comments! Your observation is very powerful & enlightening!

Comment by J. Green on March 24, 2012 at 8:50pm

Great Posting Sister Dolle. Friendship is indeed a voluntary choice and Real Friendship is a Blessing from Our Father in Heaven!

Comment by James McDonald on March 24, 2012 at 7:33pm

Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together..

Never Give Up~

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